just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
