My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
