i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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