I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
no you cant smoke seaweed
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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