My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
