Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
