I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
