It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
