Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just pee around me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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