you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
