Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
