so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
