Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
