I must be too annoying 4 u.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
