Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
