votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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