I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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