Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
