What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
