Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
