No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
