I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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