Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
