just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
