I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I need water and some morals
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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