I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
