that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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