I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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