if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
