the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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