but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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