Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
