He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
