high people should be assigned attendants
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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