You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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