Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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