You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
