that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
third nipple confirmed
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
