i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
