What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
