Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
they're like a gay fantastic four
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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