I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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