At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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