I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
accomplished twins. life is a go
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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