I think I just saw someone hide a body.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
