i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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