i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
