im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
