I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize
