hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
